


The Unpredictable Factor of a Broken Soul

by Sciencelings



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Amputee Peter Parker, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, BAMF Peter Parker, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Fluff and Angst, Gen, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Snaps, Protective Tony Stark, Suicidal Ideation, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Whump, because unlike the russos im not an asshole, but only a single line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 16:59:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18815149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sciencelings/pseuds/Sciencelings
Summary: An alternate version of the final battle in Endgame through the eyes of Peter Parker.





	The Unpredictable Factor of a Broken Soul

At this point, Peter was kind of tired. Tired of the constant chaos that surrounded him from even before he opened his eyes. Tired of being part of the crowd. Tired of being the kid on the battlefield. But most of all, he was tired of losing. Losing people, losing battles, losing blood. He was tired of it. 

 

Peter knew that something was going to go badly. He sensed it in the way Doctor Strange frantically told him to get up and he could feel it in his blood that something wasn’t quite right. It was like anxiety but worse and he couldn’t stay still. He could barely process Stranges words. Five years had passed, they need us, blah blah blah… It didn’t matter. He needed to find Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark would know what was going on. 

 

But when he asked the wizard about his mentor, all he got was a look and an excuse before going through a portal and leaving him on Titan with the aliens. And he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong. 

 

Before the final battle was like the calm before the storm. Time went so slowly. Peter only thought about the people that he didn’t have access to. May, Tony, Ned… MJ… He was too far away. He was in space and that in and of itself was almost too much to wrap his head around. He could hear his rapidly beating heart too clearly and not for the first time, he hated having enhanced senses. 

 

He tried to walk it off. Hoping that his restlessness was only a side effect of coming back from a pile of dust. A few minutes of overthinking later, his enhanced hearing picked up the human looking alien guy yelling for him to come back and that Doctor Strange had opened up another portal. 

 

Peter had never swung with so much purpose. He landed outside of the sparking portal and his metal mask retreated back. It’s not like he needed his secret identity here. He looked around for Tony, ignoring the damaged ground and the debris from the Avengers compound. He also ignored the gigantic alien army that stood like a mile away from them. He didn’t care. He had one goal, but the hint at the back of his mind that something was wrong kept pounding like a hyperactive headache. 

 

Charging into battle was just as terrifying as it usually was, but Peter was swinging in the front lines like the dumbass he was. Not everyone had an indestructible iron suit as he did. Well, he noticed that Ms. Potts did so maybe the trend was growing. Everything was a blur. He was disassociating but his body reacted just as it needed to keep him alive. So far it was fine, he had yet to get more hurt than a few bruises. 

 

His vision tunneled when he saw Mr. Stark. He webbed up the massive guy trying to kill his mentor and raced over to him. Tony looked older, at first, he had doubted the wizards whole timeskip back from the dead thing but his mentor's hair was several shades lighter with a handful of gray hairs covering his scalp. 

 

Tony also looked at him with wistful disbelief but Peter was already talking. He didn’t know what he was talking about, he stumbled over his ramblings until Tony made a face and pulled him into a hug. Peter may not be an empath like the insect girl but he could feel Tonys shuttering breaths and the tightness of the hug only increasing and he realized just how much he meant to his mentor. He managed to stutter out a ‘This is nice.’ before Tony only proved Peters suspicions right by placing a platonic kiss a little below his temple. 

 

Tony had never been an incredibly touchy person so this really meant something. It was more powerful than any words could express. Peter had lost people, he knew what it felt like. He only knew what it felt like getting them back through whatever this emotion osmosis with Tony was. 

 

The hug lasted a long time, Peter knew that Tony needed it to, so he didn’t let go. Breaking the hug was hard but they had a battle raging around them. Reunions couldn’t last forever. He couldn’t hear about the years he had missed yet. Tony still looked at him like he couldn’t believe that he was there. He gently kept his hand on Peters back and seemed afraid that he was going to disappear into dust again. 

 

“You good?” Tony asked.

 

“Yeah I’m fine, I just woke up from being dead so I think I’m as good as I can be from that.” He stumbled. 

 

“Good enough to keep fighting? Because if not I want you as fucking far away from here as you can be,” Tony said with a hint of fear. 

 

“I’m fine. I’m not letting you guys get all the glory.” Peter smiled a little. 

 

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Tony said as his helmet unfolded onto his face and the battle resumed. They had to part again but Peter really hoped that it wouldn’t be the last time. 

 

Peter couldn’t quite keep track of what was going on. At one point he got the infinity gauntlet and was surrounded by monster guys and he rode on a flying hammer and Pepper gave him a ride before he landed on a pegasus for a bit. His brain wasn’t quite keeping up with the ‘what the fuck’ factor of everything. 

 

At one point, the giant ship in the sky showered the battlefield with blasts of energy that got way to close for comfort and ended up blasting him and the infinity gauntlet into a crater and he could taste his own blood as he curled up in a ball in the only attempt he could think of to keep himself safe. He stayed in the same rigid position even after the battleship exploded and the cause of it stood next to him in the form of a glowing space lesbian. 

 

Considering that he could barely move, he handed off the most powerful weapon in the universe to her. He stumbled back into the debris as he was surrounded by a dozen female heroes. When they all left to escort the gauntlet, he felt his vision fading, only for a moment. He probably had a concussion. The one thing that had stayed constant was the eternal feeling of dread. As if this situation couldn’t get any worse. 

 

It would. He knew that it would. Unless he did something about it. He shakily stood and with a new fear reinforced resolve, he headed towards a bad idea. But it was better than what he knew would happen. He didn’t know how he knew, his spider-sense was never specific but he knew that they wouldn’t be enough. They would never be enough. And he knew that Tony would do anything to protect the future. And anything covered more than Peter was going to sacrifice. 

 

Peter knew what loss was. He had never stopped feeling it. He was not going to feel it fresh again any time soon. An uncharacteristic flaming anger kept this thought alive in his chest. He was in no shape to do what he was going to do, but he knew that if he didn’t, his eternal pre-disaster warning, would be for something out of his control. 

 

He made his way to the mad titan as the inevitable occurred. Thanos had the gauntlet. But it wasn’t on his hand yet and Peter had only a moment to decide if he would go through with his impromptu death wish. He made the fuck it adjustment and decided to fuck it. He launched himself at the most powerful item in the universe and this time he wasn’t going to just hold onto it in hopes that someone more powerful would use it. It was now or never. 

 

“What do you think you’re doing little bug? You think you are anything against me?” The titan almost sounded like he was pitying Peter as they played a failing game of tug-of-war. 

 

“I don’t care what you are! I don’t care who you think you are or what your destiny is! Did you ever wonder why everyone thinks you’re the bad guy?” Peter managed to keep his grip on the gauntlet as Thanos made a face, to a point, not even caring about Peter’s plot. Thinking that he was going to win with a well-timed tug.

 

“You’re the bad guy because you’re literally the biggest asshole in the universe,” Peter growled and took his shot. He took one of the hands holding onto the oversized gauntlet and threw a hand inside of it. At that moment, Tony had tackled back into Thanos and gave Peter enough time to go past the point of no return. 

 

The red gauntlet adjusted to his size and once it shrunk down, He felt it. The power of all the infinity stones arcing in colored energy up his arm in the most violent pain he had ever felt. Peter couldn’t scream because of his lungs seizing in his chest. The power was like dipping his hand in boiling electrified water and not being able to get it out. But it wasn’t all pain. It was power. He could feel the universe in the palm of his hand. He could feel his senses expanding and it was terrifying. 

 

“Peter!” Tony yelled but it felt too far away. Peter could only look the stunned Titan in the eyes with a rage he had never felt in his life. A rage of innumerable souls screaming for revenge. A rage of Thanos’ victims holding him up, willing him to go through with it. To use the most devastating power in the universe. 

 

“This,” Peter held up his gauntleted arm, “is for everyone you murdered. Including me.” Without any more hesitation, he snapped. 

 

A flash of white and pain. He thought that putting on the gauntlet was painful, that was like getting a stubbed toe compared to using the stones. Every cell in his body felt like it was set on fire and dipped in acid while also being stabbed with a dull knife. For the first time in his life, he wished that he was dead. Anything to stop the pain. Anything to get it over with. 

 

Then the pain was gone. The deed was done. Bad guys everywhere were turning into dust. But Peter couldn’t focus on it. He stumbled to the closest of the wreckage and fell onto the broken concrete. For the first time since he had awoken from his dusty sleep, he didn’t feel afraid. No looming terror, no anxiety scrambling at his soul. He was relieved. He didn’t notice the lack of feeling in his right arm, he didn’t notice his increasing delirium. He didn't notice that he could barely see anything besides cloudy blurs of color. 

 

Something distinctly red and gold came closer to him. His fuzzy hearing could pick up desperate utterings of different versions of his name and the word kid. Eventually, his vision cleared enough to see Tony in front of him, looking pretty distressed. Peter could only respond to his father figures worry with a small smile. 

 

“Pete, can you hear me… Please kid… You can’t leave me again, you have to stay awake for me-” For once, Tony stumbled on his words. In the distance, he could hear some type of distress call. Peter didn’t know why… he had fixed everything. No more bad guys. Everyone was safe… 

 

“Kiddo, please- look at me-” Peter’s eyes slowly met the brown ones of his mentor and he managed to breathe out a response. 

 

“We won…” 

 

“Yeah, kid… we won…” Tony tried his hardest to avoid the sob building in his throat. He supported his kids head in his hand. “FRIDAY? How…” 

 

‘We’re in critical condition sir, I already sent for emergency services.’ The AI responded instantly. 

 

“Okay kid, you have to stay with me,” Tony ordered as Peters good arm weakly raised up and latched onto his father's arm. 

 

“I’m not… going… anywhere…” Peter rasped as his vision darkened. Voices became muffled but Peter wasn’t worried. He did what he needed to do. He absentmindedly wondered if he would see Ben when he closed his eyes. 

 

Ben wasn’t there. His parents weren’t there. Just a moment of rest before his heart started beating again. 

 

Light filled his eyes and he wasn’t on a battlefield, he was alive. The loud heartrate monitor seemed pretty clear about that. Cold air filling his lungs was all he could focus on as someone came up to him and kept him steady. 

 

“Peter? It’s okay, you’re safe, just breathe.” A familiar voice eased as he began to catch his breath. He was still panting but he could see in front of him. His chest filled with a hot chocolatey warmth when he recognized the face. It was May. It was the closest thing he had to a mother. He could feel the hot tears burn at his eyes. 

 

“Hey… Hey…” Peter croaked. “What…” 

 

“You’re alive that’s what.” May sobbed as she hugged his good side. Peter tried to hug back but only one arm responded. He looked over and saw why that was. He only had one arm. A wave of emotions crashed into him. He was nauseous, afraid, empty and lost all at the same time. He couldn’t help but shutter. Before he could properly freak out, he felt lightheaded and passed out in his mother's arms. 

 

The next time he woke up, there was more than one person in the room. And a raccoon. There was a fucking raccoon with clothes on sitting on a bench. He winced as he adjusted himself and the raccoon fucking spoke. 

 

“Hey look, lefties awake. Rise and shine you burnt little piece of bacon.” Peter raised an eyebrow as the group of people and whatever half-hulk was now turned to him. Tony spun around the fastest and he seemed moderately relieved when he saw Peter’s confused face. 

 

“Good morning kiddo.” 

 

“I’d ask if I was hallucinating the raccoon but I’m pretty sure there was plenty of weird shit earlier…” 

 

“Tell me about it kid. Are you in any pain? Do you feel like you’ve done at least two different types of illegal drugs?” 

 

“I have no idea what doing drugs is like but I don’t feel like I’m gonna fall if I stand up. What are you guys… doing…” Peter gestured to the blue-toned Wakandan hologram schematics that were at an angle where he couldn’t figure out what it was. 

 

“Well, since you lived up to the whole Skywalker thing, we were planning on making you a new and improved limb. It turns out that our mammal friend has experience in alien prosthesis.” Tony sat on the edge of Peter’s medical bed. He didn’t know what to call it because it because he definitely wasn’t in a hospital. 

 

“Damn straight.” The raccoon nodded. “You’re going to have the coolest effing arm in the universe kid.” 

 

“I wouldn’t expect less from this group to be honest…” Peter smiled. He recognized the Wakandan princess that he had never met before dying. There was also the blue alien woman that looked like she was more machine than human so if anyone knew about the impact of being a cyborg, he was pretty sure she was the most qualified. There was even Captain Americas long-haired friend that had a pretty obvious metal arm was chilling out in the room. People with metal parts seemed like pretty good consultants for something like this. 

 

“Uh, this can happen later or, somewhere else. I guess we have a little bit of catching up to do.” Tony held onto his hand that was still there and waited for everyone to file out of the room before lifting him into a smothering hug. 

 

“If you scare me like that again-” Tony threatened.

 

“What? You’ll take away my suit? If I didn’t do it, you would have and I’m enhanced. I would’ve lost you and I can’t… I can’t do that again…” Peter’s voice grew quieter into a wet whisper. 

 

“That must be the downside to being a hero type… Seriously though kid, you nearly killed me there. May and I have agreed that you’re grounded for a year. It would be hard to swing around without the physical therapy and replacement arm anyway.” Tony held his kid close to his chest. 

 

“Yeah… I’m okay with taking a break…” Peter weakly chuckled as he buried his head in the safety of Tony’s embrace. He may not be pain-free or even close to healed and normal, but he was alive and with his family. 

 

He didn’t regret a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Please leave a comment if you did!


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